Chatting with The Cullens Twilight AIM
by Korie.Moore
Summary: I was bored so I decided to make this...thingy. It does have a plot....kind of. You'll see If you read it So yeah....I stink at making summaries.
1. Blegh

**DISCLAIMER: **_I do not (unfortunately) own the Twilight series or AIM. (Or Edward Cullen sob) _

**AIM Usernames**

**-vampiregirl - : **Bella

**theinnocentkiller : **Edward

**can'ttouchthis: ** Emmet

**0shoppingspree0: ** Alice

**soldierboy: **Jasper

**deathroses: **Rosalie

**thedesperatehousewife: ** Esme

**DoctorC:** Carlisle

**fistsoffury: **Charlie

**singleandlovnit: ** Jacob

--

**theinnocentkiller has signed on**

**can'ttouchthis has signed on**

**soldierboy has signed on**

**can'ttouchthis: ** Edward?

**theinnocentkiller: ** Yes Emmet?

**can'ttouchthis: ** I gots a question

**theinnocentkiller: **And what might that be?

**can'ttouchthis: ** How can you be innocent _and_ a killer at the same time?

**theinnocentkiller: **Why does it matter?

**can'ttouchthis: ** Well what if a physcopath was on here? What if he decided to kill someone because he thought it would be OK to kill someone because you said it would be OK to kill someone because killing someone at the same time would be a crime but he could still kill sed person because he would be an 'innocent' killer and he would kill someone and then he would be put in jail and he when he got out he make his lifelong goal to kill you because you said it was OK to kill someone?

**soldierboy: ** That was a mouthful

**theinnocentkiller: **Shut up Jasper. And Emmet, just….just shut up OK?

**can'ttouchthis: **OK but if you get murdered in your sleep don't tell me I didn't warn ya.

**-vampiregirl- has signed on**

**-vampiregirl-** Hey Edward!

**theinnocentkiller:** Hello Bella. Still in one piece I hope

**-vampiregirl-: **puffs out chest angrily Very funny Eddy.

**can'ttouchthis: ** LOLZ. Eddy!

**theinnocentkiller: ** Shut it Emmet. You don't even know what that stands for!

**can'touchthis: ** Yes I do! It stands for Limbo, umm, Out, umm hang on….

**theinnocentkiller: ** my point exactly

**soldierboy: **Have you seen Alice, Bella? I haven't heard from her all day.

**-vampiregirl-: ** Unfortunately yes

**soldierboy: **Uh-oh what did she do this time?

**-vampiregirl-: **shudders you don't want to know

**soldierboy: **do you know where she is now?

**-vampiregirl-: ** nope

**soldierboy: ** hmmm. darn I had a surprise for her.

**-vampiregirl-: **what is it?

**soldierboy: ** Oh you'll see

**theinnocentkiller: **Jasper I can see what you're thinking, stop thinking that.

**soldierboy: ** Sorry

**thedesperatehousewife has signed on**

**-vampiregirl-: **Esme? Why are you on?

**thedesperatehousewife: **I,um, oh well…..Boys! dinner!

**theinnocentkiller has signed off**

**can'ttouchthis has signed off**

**soldierboy has signed off**

**thedesperatehousewife has signed off**

**-vampiregirl-: ** umm guys? I'm still here!

**-vampiregirl-: **How rude! Edward didn't even say goodbye before he went to dinner!pouts I wonder what they're having……

**-vampiregirl-:** Wait! Vampires don't eat! Stupid vampires left me here!

**-vampiregirl- has signed off**

**A/N: ****Sorry, it probably wasn't too good….. And if you have **_**any**_** screen name suggestions please tell me! I can change 'em. Although I do like Emmet's screen name…..**


	2. It Could Always Suck More

**AIM User names**

**-vampiregirl - : **Bella

**theinnocentkiller : **Edward

**can'ttouchthis: **Emmet

**0shoppingspree0: **Alice

**soldierboy: **Jasper

**deathroses: **Rosalie

**thedesperatehousewife: **Esme

**DoctorC:** Carlisle

**fistsoffury: **Charlie

**singleandlovnit: **Jacob

Chatting with the Cullens

**-vampiregirl- has entered the chat room**

**theinnocentkiller has entered the chat room**

**soldierboy has entered the chat room**

**-vampiregirl-: **EDWRAD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN! WHY DID YOU LEAVE

ME ALL ALONE IN THE CHATROOM YESTERDAY?!

**theinnocentkiller: **-cringes- Umm, well Esme needed me and you know I can't deny her after all she's done for me

**soldierboy: **Uh, maybe I should leave….

**-vampiregirl-:** No, Jasper stay, I'll deal with _him_ tonight

**theinnocentkiller: **I don't think I'm free tonight…maybe tomorrow….or never?

**-vampiregirl- **Don't make me go over there!

**theinnocentkiller: ** umm…..Jasper have you found Alice yet?

**soldierboy: **No. But she's probably taking some weekend shopping trip.

**can'ttouchthis has entered the chat room**

**can'ttouchthis: **hello everybody!

**-vampiregirl-: **But it's not the weekend

**can'ttouchthis: **I said hello everybody!

**theinnocentkiller: **Bella don't make this worse than it actually is

**can'ttouchthis:** I know! Jasper call this number! 505 346 0102

**-vampiregirl-: **Hey! I gave that number to Charlie once!

**theinnocentkiller: **ugh

**soldierboy:** What does it do?

**can'ttouchthis: ** It Could Always Suck More

As much as things suck,  
As bad as they get,  
If you got cheated on,  
If you're broke or in debt...

If you're aging or balding  
or get a cold sore,  
Don't ever forget:

It Could Always Suck More

**theinnocentkiller:** You gave THAT to Charlie?

**-vampiregirl-: **No! That's just they're slogan! You should see their actual phone message!

**soldierboy: **You know what? I think I'm fine….

**can'ttouchthis: **(Yoooouuuu!)  
Soulja boy I tell 'em  
Hey I got a new dance fo you all called the soulja boy  
(Yoooouuuu!)  
You gotta punch then crank back three times from left to right  
(Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaah!)

Chorus: x2  
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe  
Watch me Crank It  
Watch me Roll  
Watch me Crank Dat Soulja Boy  
Then Super Man Dat Hoe  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now, Watch me You...  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

**-vampiregirl-: **oook that was random

**can'ttouchthis: **No it wasn't! That's Jasper's screenname! And I am not random

**-vampiregirl-: -**ignores Emmet's last statement- No, the song is Soulja Boy not soldier boy.

**can'ttouchthis: **say what you want Bella, say what you want

**deathroses has entered the chat room**

**deathroses: **Emmet? What is he doing now?

**theinnocentkiller: **-mutters- what _hasn't_ Emmet done?

**soldierboy: **Bella, I'm no Alice, but I think you're up to something

**-vampiregirl-: **-looks up at Jasper innocently- Who me?

**soldierboy: **You're the only Bella here

**-vampiregirl-: -**smirks evilly- OK I am but you'll see in the morning…. And Edward, I'll see you tonight

**theinnocentkiller: **-hides behind Emmet-crap

**A/N: Hope you liked it! And if you want the It Could Always Suck More website e-mail me! (Or look it up on the internet)**** Please review! It's what keeps me motivated! And I'm willing to accept any screenname suggestions!**


	3. Can't Touch This

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the twilight series or -sniffle- Edward Cullen or AIM. Enjoy!**

**AIM User names**

**-vampiregirl - : **Bella

**theinnocentkiller : **Edward

**can'ttouchthis: **Emmet

**0shoppingspree0: **Alice

**soldierboy: **Jasper

**deathroses: **Rosalie

**thedesperatehousewife: **Esme

**DoctorC:** Carlisle

**fistsoffury: **Charlie

**singleandlovnit: **Jacob

* * *

**theinnocentkiller has entered the chat room**

**soldierboy has entered the chat room**

**can'ttouchthis has entered the chat room**

**thedesperatehousewife has entered the chat room**

**can'ttouchthis:** Jasper why do even sign on to these things? You never type anything

**soldierboy:** At least I'm not an idiot

**can'ttouchthis:** at least my girlfriend didn't run away from me!

**thedesperatehousewife: **Alright you two. Enough!

**theinnocentkiller: **Speaking of Emmett being an idiot and Alice's disappearance has anyone seen Bella?

**soldierboy:** Nadda

**can'ttouchthis: **what does this have to do with my stupidity? That I do not have……

**soldierboy:** I think their up to something…

**thedesperatehousewife:** bella? She'd do nothing evil

**theinnocentkiller: **-rolls eyes-

**thedesperatehousewife:** Edward!

**can'ttouchthis: **Hey guys! Esme's on!

**soldierboy: **No dip Sherlock

**theinnocentkiller: **Nut bella is evil! She even put "-smirks evilly-" last time we chatted!

**can'ttouchthis: **Ha! Eddy put nut instead of but!

**soldierboy: **Haha! He's right!

**theinnocentkiller: **shut up you two!

**thedesperatehousewife: **Edward!

**can'ttouchthis: **Nut I didn't do nothn!

**soldierboy: **Quick Emmett! Lock yourself in your room! Eddy's coming!

**can'touchthis: **Why? He can't touch this nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh can't touch this OMG! Crap!!

**soldierboy: **Emmet McCarty Cullen. Vampire from 1935-2008.

**can'ttouchthis: **Jasper help! OW! Stop it eddy! I was joking! He's touching this! He's touching this! Nut Edward! You can't touch this!!

**soldierboy: **nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh

**soldierboy:** My heart says I should help…. wait I don't have a heart! Never mind Go Eddy!

**can'ttouchthis is currently experiencing technical difficulties **

**soldierboy: **rest in peace brother, rest in peace.

**A/N: It's a beautiful day and how do I spend it? Inside bored out my mind writing fanfic stories! Anyway.. Where are Bella and Alice? And what was Bella smiling evilly for yesterday? Stay tuned! Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh**


	4. Jacob

**DISCLAIMER: **_I do not (unfortunately) own the Twilight series or AIM. (Or Edward Cullen sob) _

**AIM Usernames**

**-vampiregirl - : **Bella

**theinnocentkiller : **Edward

**can'ttouchthis: **Emmet

**0shoppingspree0: **Alice

**soldierboy: **Jasper

**deathroses: **Rosalie

**thedesperatehousewife: **Esme

**DoctorC:** Carlisle

**fistsoffury: **Charlie

**russetwolfdude: **Jacob

* * *

**theinnocentkiller has entered the chat room**

**soldierboy has entered the chat room**

**theinnocentkiller: **Still no sign of Alice?

**soldierboy: **Nope. What about Bella?

**theinnocentkiller: **For all I know she could be dead

**soldierboy: **You don't sound very sympathetic

**theinnocentkiller:** She tried to kill me the other night! What do expect?

**can'ttouchthis has entered the chat room**

**can'ttouchthis: **Guys! Rose is missing!!

**soldierboy: **And so it begins…..

**theinnocentkiller:** Emmett! I thought I buried you!

**soldierboy: **You did what to him!?

**theinnocentkiller: **Ummmm…… So Emmett what about Rosalie again?

**can'ttouchthis: **It's all Jasper's fault!

**soldierboy: **WHAT?!

**can'ttouchthis: **This thing where our girlfriends running away all started with Alice who is Jasper's girlfriend than it was Bella and now Rose!! You're a disease man! A disease!

**soldierboy:** Emmett? Do want to go in the box again?

**can'ttouchthis: **No! It's dark in there!

**russetwolfdude has entered the chat room**

**soldierboy:** Who's that?

**theinnocentkiller: **I'll give you three guesses, its big and fury and smells like Emmett

**can'ttouchthis: **HEY!

**russetwolfdude: **That was so not funny.

**soldierboy: **Have you even smelled Emmett lately?

**russetwolfdude: **………….

**theinnocentkiller: **What do you want pup?

**russetwolfdude: **Well actually I thought this was Sam's chat room.

**can'ttouchthis: **Can you smell my butt? You know since you r a dog and stuff. Don't they do that? Or is it cats? And how do dogs have you-know-what

**russetwolfdude: **No I will not sniff your butt!!

**theinnocentkiller: **On to other more important issues……

**soldierboy: **I'll go get the box

**can'ttouchthis: **NO!! He didn't even answer my other question!

**can'ttouchthis has signed off**

**soldierboy: **How can you even afford a computer Jake? Aren't you like dirt floor poor?

**russetwolfdude: **HEY! Have even seen my house?

**theinnocentkiller: **House? I thought that was a shed

**russetwolfdude: **I would go over there to kill you right now but Bella would hurt me first

**soldierboy:** Actually Bella isn't here right now

**theinnocentkiller: **JASPER!

**soldierboy: ** What? He can't do anything! That would be crossing the lines

**russetwolfdude: **I can't wait till the day I get to kill you guys –sigh-

**theinnocentkiller:** only in your dreams pup

**russetwolfdude:** I've gotta go. Some people don't have the money to pay for the internet

**russetwolfdude has signed off**

**soldierboy: **Such a wonderful little boy. That reminds me, why do IM each other when we're in the same house?

**theinnocentkiller: **Because Jasper, that's what rich people do.

**soldierboy: **Ah.

**theinnocentkiller has signed off**

**soldierboy: **Oh come on! I'm not that boring!

**soldierboy: **Edward?

**soldierboy: **Crapples

**soldierboy has signed off**

**A/N: I changed Jake's name to russetwolfdude. I'm sorry it may have stunk a little but I wanted to write one before I go away for the weekend. Which brings me to the point of where are all of the girls? No seriously, I need some suggestions I don't know. Or if you want anybody to be in the story just say something!  
**


	5. The Secert Reveiled

**DoctorC has signed on DoctorC has signed on**

**can'ttouch this has signed on**

**theinnocentkiller has signed on**

**theinnocentkiller: **What are you doing on Carlisle?

**can'ttouchthis: **Doctor C is in the hizzle! That would be such a cool rapper name.

**DoctorC:** …….

**theinnocentkiller: **………

**DoctorC:** Esme is missing.

**can'ttouchthis: **The curse continues!

**theinnocentkiller**: Emmett shut up!

**can'touchthis: **-puppy dog eyes-

**DoctorC: **So you guys haven't seen her? That's weird. She never really leaves home….

**can'touchthis: **Do you guys know what this means?PARTY!

**soldierboy has signed on **

**soldierboy: **What's going on?

**can'touchthis: **All the woman are gone! That means we get to party!

**theinnocentkiller: **I don't think that would be such a good idea…..

**can'touchthis: **Only gay people and old men don't like parties. And in some cases, gay old men. Which one are you?

**soldierboy: **I hate to admit it, but Emmett's right.

**DoctorC: **Alright you two, gay old men have they're rights too

**theinnocentkiller: **That's right! What do have against gay people anyway? Not that I'm gay

**fistsoffury has signed on**

**can'touchthis: **Only a gay person wouldn't admit he's gay

**theinnocentkiller: **What? Emmett that doesn't make any sense! And I'm not gay! Why else would I date Bella?

**can'touchthis: **Your beingpretty defensive, a bit _too_ defensive

**fistsoffury: **MY DAUGHTER IS DATING A GAY GUY!!

**can'touchthis: **It's OK Chief Swan. It came to a shock to us all

**soldierboy: **Emmett do want to go into the box?

**can'touchthis: **No! I'll die in there!

**soldierboy: **Well it's a good thing vampires don't die than isn't it?

**fistsoffury: **Vampires? What are you talking about? Is this some roleplaying thing?

**can'touchthis: **Hardly, of course we're vampires silly.Your daughter's dating a gay, vampire!

**DoctorC: **Don't listen to him Charlie he gets a bit too much in character

**soldierboy: **The Volturi is going to kill us because of this

**theinnocentkiller: **Excuse me, I have to go kill Emmett right now

**soldierboy: **I think Charlie is dead

**fistsoffury: **My.Daughter.Is.Dating.A.Vampire.

**can'ttouchthis: **a _gay_ vampire

**soldierboy: **Emmett

**can'ttouchthis: **You know that would make a great reality show. My teenage daughter is dating** a** gay vampire. Ah I can see it now.

**theinnocentkiller: **I think he's thinking about getting stakes and silver bullets. The works.

**fistsoffury: **I knew she should have gone for Jake! At least he's normal!

**can'ttouchthis: **Actually he's a werewolf

**fistsoffury: **WHAT?!

**soldierboy: **All in all he is taking this pretty well

**theinnocentkiller: **Charlie, surely you don't believe any of this! I mean really vampires and werewolves. How much more Hollywood can you get

**fistsofury: **I'm going to kill you. I don't know how and I don't know when but I am.

**DoctorC: **Charlie be reasonable

**fistsoffury has signed off**

**soldierboy: **we are in some deep poo

**can'ttouchthis: **Ha! You said poo

**theinnocentkiller: **Emmett I'm going to kill you before Charlie can even lay his hands on you! Understood?

**can'ttouchthis**: gulp

**A/N: Yup, Charlie has found out**. singersk8rgirl426 **gave me the idea of Charlie finding out with no fainting or heart attacks or anything. He knows. So he does. And he wants to kill them. Of course he can't, but Volturi can, and they might pay them a little visit. Who's going to disappear next? Sorry it kind of stunk, I just got back from vacation felt an urge to update. With no inspiration. Usually my brothers or something give me some ideas but nooo not this time.**


	6. Mike Pregnant?

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own AIM or the Twilight series…. or Edward…:-(

**A/N:** I finally updated? Yes I did! ;-) Sorry it took me forever and I still have my other stories to update but I've been busy! (Not really) So I took the time off from my not-so busy schedule to write another chapter!

**soldierboy has signed on**

**can'ttouchthish has signed on**

**theinnocentkiller has signed on**

**soldierboy: **How much longer can theses woman be gone!! I can't take it!

**can'ttouchthis: **I know! Do you even know how horny I've gotten?

**soldierboy:** ……… Emmett, that just put the _worst_ mental image you could possibly out in my head.

**theinnocentkiller:** Emmett, there are things we share as a family and things we don't. That's one of the "don'ts"

**can'ttouchthis:** It's not my fault you guys are gay

**theinnocentkiller:** WHAT?!

**soldierboy:** Hey!!

**can'touchthis:** What? Only gay people can't talk about being –

**t****heinnocentkiller:** EMMETT! We are done talking about your wacked up hormones!

**can'ttouchthis**: Only gay people –

**theinnocentkiller:** Emmett shut the hell up before I go in there and personally strangle you to death.

**soldierboy:** …… You feeling OK Edward?

**t****heinnocentkiller:** -sniff- No

**MikeandIkes has signed on**

**MikeandIkes:** Hey peoples

**soldierboy:** Hey Mike

**MikeandIkes:** How'd you know it was me? Can you read minds or something?

**soldierboy:** Yes….yes I can

**theinnocentkiller:** That hurt Jasper. That hurt deep.

**can'ttouchthis:** Can men have babies?

**theinnocentkiller:** Emmett what is it with you and randomly stupid question?

**MikeandIkes:** Weeeell….if a girl gives a boy anal sex than the eggs go inside and mix with the sperm which than causes a baby to form.

**soldierboy:** How does it come out?

**MikeandIkes:** The butt hole

**soldierboy:** 0o I think I'm personally scarred for life here….

**can'ttouchthis**: AWESOME!! I'm going to have a baby!

**theinnocentkiller:** Can we change the subject? I think I'm going to puke

**can'ttouchthis:** So Mike, are you preggy?

**MikeandIkes:** Yup I'm going on Opera

**soldierboy:** Your girlfriend must be so proud

**MikeandIkes:** He is

**soldierboy:** Dude….

**can'ttouchthis:** See Edward? Your not the only gay guy!

**theinnocentkiller has signed off**

**soldierboy has signed off**

**MikeandIkes:** I have to go, all this stress isn't good for the baby.

**can'ttouchthis:** Bye Mike! Have fun with your butt baby!

**MikeandIkes has signed off**

**can'ttouchthis:** What a nice guy

**A/N:** OK this is probably the weirdest chapter I have written yet. And scariest. And perverted. I got the idea from my friend Sarah when she went on a forum about how it's illegal to rape dead people and that popped up in the conversation somehow… I couldn't really think of a good name for Mike and I _was_ eating a whole box of Mike and Ikes…so that's how it happened.

**A/N Breaking News:** In case some of you haven't been on Stephenie Meyer's web page in awhile she has started posting Breaking Dawn quotes! I was so happy when I found out I almost screamed! (Not really)


	7. I can't think of title so this will do

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own AIM or Twilight. _

**can'ttouchthis has entered the chat room**

**theinnocentkiller has entered the chat room**

**theinnocentkiller:** Hey! Where's Jasper?

**can'ttouchthis: **idk mayb w/ al te womn?

**theinnocentkiller:**….. Emmett, please type normal.

**can'ttouchthis: **y it mttr if he gne? he boring neway.

**theinnocentkiller: **Right.. .

**soldierboy: **I'm right here.

**theinnocentkiller: **But it didn't say you entered

**soldierboy: **………

**theinnocentkiller:** You've been sitting in your room all day waiting for us to get on haven't you?

**soldierboy:** I don't see how that's important

**can'ttouchthis: **dude, gt a lfe

**soldierboy: **So? Edward's been in his room all day trying to text Bella

**can'ttouchthis: **You know more people die from cell phones while driving than smoking?

**theinnocentkiller:** That just means we need more people smoking

**soldierboy:** But than they'll all die

**theinnocentkiller:** I know

**can'ttouchthis: **It's 10:00. Have you had a smoke today?

**theinnocentkiller:** Muwhahaha, soon the world will belong to us!

**soldierboy:** See, this is why the woman left us

**theinnocentkiller: **I feel so lonely.

**can'ttouchthis: **I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

**soldierboy: ** le gasp! Emmett you've been reading!

**can'ttouchthis: **I have?

**theinnocentkiller: **Jack Handey said that from "Deep thoughts"

**can'ttouchthis: **Is that what a book is?

**theinnocentkiller:** This is why Rosalie left you

**can'ttouchthis: **Well Bella left you because you were gay

**theinnocentkiller: **Exactly 'Were' Not that I ever was

**soldierboy: **-rollseyes-

**theinocentkiller:** Humph

**theinnocentkiller has logged off**

**soldierboy: **Come back to me Edward! I love you!!

**soldierboy has logged off**

**can'ttouchthis: **Am I the only strait person here?!

**A/N:**_ I haven't updated this in such a long time, so I updated. Something I've noticed is that if you lock men in a room for two hours they come out gay….. not that I would know or anything. But seriously, smoking is wrong, no matter how sexy Edward can make it look._


	8. Random

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters or AIM Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters or AIM**

* * *

**theinnocentkiller has entered the chat room**

**soldierboy has entered the chat room**

**soldierboy: **Emmett's gone! –does the happy dance-

**theinnocentkiller: **It's a miracle! Hallelujah!

**can'ttouchthis: **Yay!! Emmett's gone! Man I thought he'd never leave!

**soldierboy: **I know ri- Emmett!! You're supposed to be somewhere besides here!

**theinnocentkiller: **Like slowly dying in a well…..

_**Meanwhile in a different chat room…….**_

**MikeandIkes: **Spongebob Squarepants, Sponegebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants! I like churros!

_**Meanwhile in another different chat room…..**_

**0shoppingspree0: **Does this dress make my butt look fat?

**deathroses: **Yes

**-vampiregirl-: **I feel sorry about ditching Edward….

**0shoppingspree0: **That'll wear off soon. Hmmm…. I'm suddenly feeling an irresistible urge to eat a churro….

**-vampiregirl-: **To Costco!

_**Now let's get back to Edward!**_

**can'ttoucthis: **A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns. Planet Unicorn Unicorn planet. Give it up for Feathers, Oooh Cadillac, and Edward Cullen

**theinnocentkiller:** HEY!

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this was the worst, smallest, most random chapter ever but I needed to update my stuff. And Costco has the biggest bestest churros EVER!**


	9. Girls

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters or AIM…. I want some churros….**

* * *

**-vampiregirl- has entered the chat room**

**0shoppingspree0 has entered the chat room**

**deathroses has entered the chat room**

**0shoppingspree0:** Hola Bella!

**-vampiregirl-:** Hey Alice.

**deathroses: **I'm here to you know -.-

**0shoppingspree0:** Riiiiight

**-vampiregirl-: **Hey Rose

**deathroses: **I'm glad to see _someone_ here has manners

**0shoppingspree0: **XP

**deathroses: **-glowers-

**-vampiregirl-: **Please don't fight guys. I'm sure Emmett wants you in one piece

**deathroses: **Are you saying you think she can beat me?!

**0shoppingspree0: **She didn't have to say it, it was implied.

**-vampiregirl-: **Cat fight!

**deathroses: **0.o

**0shoppingspree0: **…… What?

**-vampiregirl-: **Uh, -blushes- I just thought about Emmett and you know he would say that kind of stuff when he was here….

**0shoppingspree0: **Right.

**deathroses: **I think Bella needs Edward to keep her sane

**-vampiregirl-: **-sniffles- I do miss him. Everything reminds me about him, especially that silver Volvo that's been stalking us since we left.

**0shoppingspree0: **Oooooh a stalker!

**deathroses: **Sheesh Alice, you _know _whoever he is he's stalking me!

**-vampiregirl-: **How do you know he's not stalking me?

**deathroses: **Puh-lease. Have you looked in a mirror lately?

**-vampiregirl-: :# **What!!

**0shoppingspree0: **Maybe I should go…..

**-vampiregirl-: **This is gonna get dirty.

**0shoppingspree0: ** **:**O Bibi Rosalie!

**deathroses: **Traitor

**0shoppingspree0 has left the chat room**

**deathroses: **Don't leave Alice! I just got my nails done! I'll get _blood_ in them!

**-vampiregirl-: **Damn right

**deathroses: **I'll tell Edward!!

**-vampiregirl-: **We'll just see about that

**deathroses: **Gulp

* * *

**A/N: It was the girls this time, but it didn't really move the plot line anywhere…. Writers block . I'll update soon if you're good. **

**-Korie**


	10. Update!

** Disclaimer: I do not own AIM or Twilight blah blah blah you know the rest**

* * *

**Theinnocentkiller has entered the chatroom**

**Can'ttouchthis has entered the chatroom**

**0shoppingspree0 has entered the chatroom**

**soldierboy has entered the chatroom**

**theinnocentkiller:** Alice what are doing here?

**Soldierboy:** Alice is here!?

**0shoppingspree0:** Um, no. This all just a dream… He he weird right?

**Theinnocentkiller:** We're vampires Alice. We can't sleep

**0shoppingspree0:** How do you know? Maybe we really are asleep and we just don't know it! It might all just be one big dream we're trapped in!

**can'ttouchthis: **If this is a dream how come I don't have boobs?

**0shoppingspree0: **Why do you need boobs?

**Soldierboy: **Alice! Please come back home I need you! They're torturing me here!

**0shoppingspree0:** So I've noticed. Poor Jazzy.

**Theinnocentkiller: **You can have him. He's turned so emo now it's worse than when I left Bella

**Can'ttouchthis: **Which reminds me. Edward when Bell dumps you can I have her?

**Theinnocentkiller: **I'm not going to dump her. Right Alice?

**0shoppingspree0:** ………

**theinnocentkiller: **Alice?

**0shoppingspree0 has left the chatroom**

**can'ttouchthis: **Great going Edward. She left!

**Soldierboy: **I'm all alone! With no one there beside meeeeeeeee

**Can'ttouchthis: **Was it just me or did an elephant just crap out a cat?

**Theinnocentkiller: **You did what to Charlie?!

**Soldierboy: **My singing skills aren't that bad. Sheesh. I'm going to lock myself in my room and eat Skittles!

**Soldierboy has left the chatroom**

**Can'ttouchthis: **But Jasper! Those are _my_ skittles!! T.T

**Theinnocentkiller: **I use to watch Bella eat skittles : (

**Can'ttouchthis: **Suck it up Edward! We're the manliest of men!

**Theinnocentkiller: **Weren't you just talking about having boobs?

**Can'ttouchthis has left the chatroom**

**Theinnocentkiller: **Great. First Bella now Emmett! Doesn't anybody love me!?

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it sucked a lot but I knew I needed to update cause I haven't in like…. Um anyone good at math? Yeah. The next one will probably involve Charlie and Edward's funeral so stay tuned! If you review I might let him live. It's like those commercials on TV where you have to text the morphing pokemon to save their lives. So yeah, Edward's a pikachu or whatever and review so he can kick Charlie's butt in a funeral home.**

**-Korie**


	11. Another Update!

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_** or AIM! Have I mentioned how SICK I am of writing these stupid disclaimers!

* * *

**_**-vampiregirl- has entered the chat room**_

_**0shoppingspree0 has entered the chat room**_

_**thedesperatehousewife has entered the chat room**_

_**DoctorC has entered the chat room**_

**-vampiregirl-: **Hey Carlisle and Esme!

**thedesperatehousewife:** Hello dear

**0shoppingspree0: **Poor Jazz. Last time I saw him he was a total wreck. Your boyfriend and his pet were torturing him Bella!

**-vampiregirl-: **Pft. Edward couldn't hurt a fly!

**can'ttouchthis: **Those things taste HORRIBLE

**DoctorC: **Emmett! What are you doing here?

**can'ttouchthis: **GASP! How do you know my name! Are you god?

**DoctorC: **-.- Yes Emmett, I'm God.

**can'ttouchthis: **Sweet! Are you and Santa Claus related?

**DoctorC: **Sure, Emmett whatever you want.

**can'ttouchthis: **Edward said even if you were real you'd be a stalker

**-vampiregirl-: **Emmett! How did you get on here?!

**can'ttouchthis: **SAINT PETER!

**-vampiregirl-: **W-what? I'm not a man!!

**0shoppingspree0: **By the way you dress you wouldn't be able to tell. If you would just let me take you to the mall…

**-vampiregirl-: **NEVER!

**can'ttouchthis: **I'm gonna go get Edward!

**DoctorC: **NO! I mean, Emmett, um Edward is not worthy to be in the presence of God.

**can'ttouchthis: **Is it because he's gay?

**DoctorC: **…… If I say yes will you go away?

**can'ttouchthis: **Fine

_**can'ttouchthis has left the chat room.**_

**thedesperatehousewife: **That's why I love Emmett. He has a mind of a child

**-vampiregirl-: **So you're calling him an idiot?

Meanwhile…..

**theinnocentkiller: **I kissed a girl and I liked it

**soldierboy: **The taste of her cherry chapstick

_**can'ttouchthis has entered the chat room**_

**can'ttouchthis: **Hey guys! Whatcha doing?

**theinnocentkiller: **Um….

**can'ttouchthis: **That's nice but its Emmett's turn now

**theinnocentkiller: **.

**can'ttouchthis: **I saw god! Well not saw, but he was on AIM! And Saint Peter who I am beginning to believe is a girl.

**soldierboy: **What were their screen names?

**can'ttouchthis: **DoctorC and –vampiregirl-

**theinnocentkiller: **My poor poor idiot brother

**can'ttouchthis: **You're one to talk! You… you….

**theinnocentkiller: **That's nice Emmett. What was the link?

**can'ttouchthis: **Huh?

**theinnocentkiller: **The link to the chat room… with God and Saint Peter?

**can'ttouchthis: **Does this ink blot look like demented clown to you?

**theinnocentkiller: **EMMETT

**can'ttouchthis: **See the hair, and the eyes and the blood dripping from his lips?

**theinnocentkiller: **Great! I was so close to Bella and then the imbecile starts talking about bloody clowns!

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, wasn't too good in my opinion but I was in an updatey mood and the thing with the ink blot well my friends in Virginia had to do an ink blot test and their friend Robert saw a demented clown in the picture and showed it to them. Yeah… I love Scrubs, and House, and Grey's Anatomy. I'm just into medical shows right now. And that My Chemical Romance song Blood? Gerard has an awesome accent thing! You know I've always thought of Edward with a really tiny British accent 'cause guys with accents are really hot. And Gerard's a sexy name. Okay, done with my ranting!**

**-Korie **


	12. Rugrats

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight **_**or AIM. If I did, I would rule the world with my evil ferret by my side! Muhahahahah****(She's gone crazy with power XD or possibly, just crazy –mykittengoesrawr)

* * *

  
**

**kmbuddi: Me, Korie**

**mykittengoesrawr: My friend Sarah**

**soldierboy: **Didn't Korie say in chapter 10 she might let Charlie kill you?

**theinnocentkiller: **I was hoping she would forget….

**kmbuddi: **But I didn't! Well, I did at first so I posted Chapter 11 so I'm making Chapter 12 with Charlie attempting to murder you!

**soldierboy: **She did say 'attempt'

**kmbuddi: **Did I? Sorry, slip up. I meant _will. _As inhe _will_ kill you

**theinnocentkiller: **B-but people reviewed!

**kmbuddi: **-sigh- Yeah…. Darn you spoil all my fun Edward!

**theinnocentkiller: **You're trying to kill me!

**kmbuddi: **Pft. You say that as if it's such a big deal

**theinnocentkiller: **Ugh. Is she always this… malevolent?

**mykittengoesrawr: **Yeah, normally

**theinnocentkiller: **Who are you? And where did you come from?

**mykittengoesrawr: **I'm Sarah. The person who has been stalking you for the past few months because I have nothing better to do with my life.

**theinnocentkiller: **R-really?

**mykittengoesrawr: **No! I'm not THAT crazy

**kmbuddi: **-shifty eyes-

* * *

_**theinnocentkiller has entered the chat room**_

_**can'ttouchthis has entered the chat room**_

_**soldierboy has entered the chat room**_

**can'ttouchthis: **Hola Eddipuss

**theinnocentkiller: **Don't call me that

**soldierboy: **If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see then you'll find out firsthand what it's like to be me so gather round-

**can'ttouchthis: **Can't we get AIM without you or Edward breaking out in song and dance?!

**soldierboy: **…. I wasn't dancing

**can'ttouchthis: **Have you ever had one of those dreams where everyone just breaks out in song and dance and then you notice you're naked with your underpants on your head and Zac Efron-

**soldierboy: **Emmett! That's enough creepy images for one day.

**theinnocentkiller: **I have

_**fistsoffury has entered the chat room**_

**fistsoffury: **CULLEN!

**can'ttouchthis: **Which one?

**fistsoffury:** The gay one

**can'ttouchthis: ** So… Alice?

**soldierboy: **Emmett! Alice is most certainly not a man!

**can'ttouchthis: **How can you be sure? Anyone can have boob implant these days. I would know

_**theinnocentkiller has left the chat room**_

**fistsoffury: **Great he left! Coward!

**can'ttouchthis: **Did you need him Charlie?

**fistsoffury: **Yeah. I… I can't get my pickle jar open…

**can'ttouchthis: **You poor, poor man

**fistsoffury: **Their Dill too

**can'ttouchthis: **You're eating a baby?!

**fistsoffury: **Well, baby pickles…

**can'ttouchthis: **TOMMY! DILL! I'LL SAVE YOU!!

**soldierboy: **Rugrats special

**fistsoffury: **-backs up slowly-

**soldierboy: **So you're not mad your daughter is dating a vampire?

**fistsoffury: **No, I am but since Edward ran away what am I gonna do? Plus, it would be better if Bella could watch!

**soldierboy: **Charlie. That's horrible idea! Hell hath no fury like a teenage girl watching her father kick her boyfriend's ass.

**fistsoffury: **The only part of that I understood was the 'teenage girl watching her father kick her boyfriend's ass.' part and I am so up for that!

**soldierboy: **Sigh…

* * *

**A/N: Will Edward come back to face Charlie head on? Will Emmett save Tommy and Dill from Charlie? Will Jasper ever get the love he so desperately needs? Stay tuned for the next episode of Total Drama Island! (Heh, it was really the only thing on. That host dude SCARES me)**

**-Korie**


	13. American Idol and Operha

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight **_**or AIM. If I did, I would rule the world with my evil ferret by my side! Muhahahahah****!**

**Theinnocentkiller: **Where is everybody?

_Long pause_

**Theinnocentkiller: **Jasper… Charlie? Johnnie the lion who was chewing on my ankle? OBNOXIOUS FANGIRLS? PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!

**Can'ttouchthis: **I'm here buddy!

**Theinnocentkiller: **WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH GOD? WHY?

**Can'ttouchthis: **I SAID _I'M HERE BUDDY!_

**Theinnocentkiller: **OH GOD NO! Please don't leave me with him! Just lock me in a dungeon with a shirtless Jacob and his screaming fangirls why don't you.

**Can'ttouchthis: **That HURT Edward. You know what. I'm just gonna pack up my things -sniff- and and go if you don't love me anymore! HEAR THAT? I'M LEAVING YOU! A-AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU WITCH, CARLSILE ALWAYS LOVED ME BEST!!! –slams virtual door-

**Can'ttouchthis has logged off.**

**Theinnocentkiller: **Hm… that worked unusually well. But I'm still alone. ALL alone. With no one threatening to kill me… or stalk me… or rip my shirt off…. WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING HOT IF NO ONE LOVES YOU ANYMORE???

_Meanwhile, where the sane people live (and Emmett)_

**-vampiregirl-: **And than Esme jumped Ryan Seacrest. Pretty nutty dream huh?

**0shoppingspree0:** Wow, I didn't even think about that

**-vampiregirl-: **you mean that Carlsile went on American Idol, became the biggest rockstar ever, dumped Esme for Simon, and that Ryan Seacrest ISN'T gay?

**0shoppingspree0: **No that your voice sounds THAT bad. No wonder Edward was thinking about dumping you after karaoke night.

**-vampiregirl-: **Wha, what?

**0shoppingspree0: **Did _I_ say that? Ooops. Wow time sure does fly. Jasper needs his medication…

**0shoppingspree0 has signed off**

**Soldierboy: **Don't tell her I'm in here.

**-vampiregirl-: **What do you mean? This is a computer I can't see you.

**Soldierboy: **Riiiight. Good job Bella. Anyway, isn't it great that we all found each other again! We never would have thought looking on the Operha show!

**-vampiregirl-: **It wasn't pretty Jasper. It wasn't pretty. How come you didn't bring Edward along?

**Soldierboy: **Oh, well, yeah.

**-vampiregirl-: **Oh well in that case I think I'll let it slide. He can be like that sometimes.

**Soldierboy: **Totally.

**A/n: Yup. Totally. And about the Johnnie the Lion thing it was my other fanfiction if I was Cullen so yeah, you might not have gotten that. **

**-Korie.**


	14. Heere Kitty kitty

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own the Twilight series or any characters associated with it._

Bella POV

Alice, being no help at all, sat on the opposite side of the room watching me be tortured by these fluffy _things_. "Are you Egyptian?" She asked, still studying me carefully.

I spat a hairball from my mouth as a cat shoed its butt in my face. "What?"

"Are you Egyptian." She repeated. "'Cause, you know, cats seem to like you a lot."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be such a racist Alice, not all Egyptians are cat magnets. "

"So you are Egyptian?"

"No!"

Jasper peeked his head into the room, surprise written on his face. "Edward's on. Carlisle wants to know how we're going to torture him today."

Alice rubbed her hands together as I worked on getting the last of the cats off of me. "We'll meet you in the catroom, I mean chatroom." I promised blushing from my fumble.

Jasper shook his head and left the room. "Leave the cats in _there_ Bella."

**soldierboy has signed into the chatroom**

**-vampiregirl- has signed into the chatroom**

**0shopppingspree0 has signed into the chatroom**

**0shoppingspree0: **HI EDWARD

**soldierboy: **Sweetie he's not here yet.

**0shoppingspree0: **Don't you sweetie me you jerk!

**soldierboy: **What did I do? You were fine two seconds ago!

**0shoppingspree0: **You're going to forget our anniversary!

**soldierboy: **Which one?! We've been married like ten times!!

**0shoppingspree0: **AHA! So you admit it!

**theinnocentkiller has signed into the chatroom**

**0shoppingspree0: **HI EDWAAARD!!

**theinnocentkiller: **WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN? IF I HAVE TO HEAR EMMETT VOMPARE GIRLS' BUTT ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO LOSE IT.

**-vampiregirl-: **I think it's a bit too late for that…

**0shoppingspree0:** Ya think?

**soldierboy: **I know this is a little off topic but have you guys ever seen Demetri Martin?

**-vampiregirl-: **Oh my gosh he so cute!!!

**-vampiregirl-: **But Um, not as cute Edward. But he is funnier, and dorkier, and he's a human…

**theinnocentkiller: **Hey! He's not that funny

**0shoppingspree0: **OMG did you guys hear the shoe joke?

**-vampiregirl-: **No

**0shoppingspree0: **M-kay so it's like "I was in a shoe store and the guys call me boss, and I said "Ya, can I just get those sneakers in a 10?" and uh, he said "Okay" and then he went down stairs and he came back and he said "I don't have a 10, I have a 9" "Oh great, because, while you were downstairs, my toes were severed off. So that works out, normally it would be stupid for you to tell me a number different than the one I said, cause it goes with my body part, but given my very recent accident, you're right on. I'll take the 9's and a pile of band-aids, thank you, you're re-hired 'cause you're a genius."

**theinnocentkiller: **That happens to me a lot

**soldierboy: **If I cut of my toes will they grow back?

**-vampiregirl-: **Oh yeah Jasper, and while your toes are growing back you'll grow a mustache!

**soldierboy: **YES! I can be like a blond Captain Jack Sparrow!

**0shoppingspree0: **Oh my gosh! I'd have a blond Captain Jack Sparrow for a boyfriend! Jasper go get the hacksaw we're getting to work.

**soldieryboy has signed off**

**0shoppingspree has signed off**

**-vampiregirl-: **Wow, are they really going to do that?

**theinnocentkiller: **Most likely

**-vampiregirl-: **Thank you Magic 8 Ball. Your powers have yet to be obsolete!

**-vampiregirl- has signed off**

**theinnocentkiller: **WAIT! I'm still here alone with Emmett! Aren't you going to tell me where you guys are?!?!??!

**A/N: So did you guys like the whole story part before the chatroom thing? Yes, no, ask again later? Should I do more like that or keep it the way I usually do? And I know the catroom/chatroom thing was stupid but it was mistype and I was too lazy to go back and fix it. Thanks to everyone who got me to a hundred reviews! **

**-Korie**


End file.
